Fashion and Decorum When You’re Drunk and Over 40 at an Outdoor Concert

15 Aug

Note:  Every once in a while I’ll write about something other than biostep family issues.  Last night’s experience at an outdoor concert gave me a few things to think about which I’d like to share with you.  If you’re 40+, this is required reading.  If you under 40, TAKE NOTES.  I only tell you this because I care about you.  You’ll see what I mean.  Read on…

Just because you're 45 and going to a Sara Bareillis concert doesn't mean you should try to dress like her.

Yesterday I went to an outdoor concert at Marymoor Park in Redmond.   The concert, sponsored by The Mountain (103.7) attracted my 40+ demographic and featured Sara  Bareillis, The BoDeans, Jakob Dylan and Robert Randolph & The Family Band.  The temperatures were soaring (high 80’s/low 90’s) and when Seattleites mix hot weather with alcohol, suddenly all good middle-aged fashion sense and decorum go out the window.

As I looked around, I realized that it was time to take notes on how to age gracefully and dress appropriately.  Here’s the list of do’s and don’ts that I compiled:

  1.  If a woman is over 40, she should not wear shorts with a word emblazoned across her butt, even if her butt is cute.
  2. If a woman is over 40, she should not wear a bikini top to a public event (the beach or the pool is okay) unless she’s got abs like Dara Torres. 
  3. Don’t walk out of the house looking like a Stevie Nicks clone, no matter how tempting it might be.
  4. When wearing a dress and sitting on a blanket having a picnic, sit in a manner so that no one can see your underwear.
  5. Cropped tops are cute, but not when your flabby belly is hanging over your too tight belt (see #2).
  6. When drunk and dancing to the music, don’t continually reach over and grab your husband’s butt, especially when you’re the only ones standing up and you’re toward the front.  PDA’s are fine, but be a little more discreet.
  7. Don’t be the woman always standing in the beer line. 
  8. Don’t wear your new high heels to a concert in the park, especially a concert with beer.
  9. Gentlemen, just because you can take off your shirt in public doesn’t mean you should.  Your belly is not as hot as you think.
  10. Unless you’ve been lifted or augmented, a great bra is always a good idea. 

I’ve personally struggled with style since entering my 40’s.  I don’t want to be the middle-aged woman that looks like she’s trying too hard and I certainly don’t want to embarrass my teenage son.  I want to be comfortable and current, not 40-something and frumpy.  Finding your balance is hard, and last night I took a few mental notes of what NOT to do!  I implore you my friends, if I walk out of the house looking like an idiot, please love me enough to tell me to go back in a change into something more appropriate.  I promise to do the same for you.

4 Responses to “Fashion and Decorum When You’re Drunk and Over 40 at an Outdoor Concert”

  1. linda August 15, 2010 at 12:01 pm #

    And socks with sandals are NOT ok – if your feet look that bad, get a pedicure; and if its cold, don’t wear sandals!!!

    • BioStep August 15, 2010 at 12:54 pm #

      Actually, I’d like to make Birkenstocks illegal in the US when worn outside of Eugene, OR.

  2. Life of a Stepmama August 16, 2010 at 7:13 am #

    I refuse to try and wear my “too tight clothes” even though I love the outfit. My thought process is that if it doesn’t fit the way it used to, stop wearing it. Donate it so someone that age or skinny can get use of it, instead of you trying to stuff yourself into something that “used” to make you look good. Some things just do not stay the same! 🙂

    • BioStep August 16, 2010 at 8:25 am #

      Sometimes “a little too tight” can be solved with Spanx. Other than that, the outfit should go in the skinny section of your closet or into the donation pile!!

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