Confessions of a BioMom Gone Bad: I am a territorial bitch.

14 Dec

BioMoms can be territorial and catty

Before you click off because of my bad language, hear me out.  I’m going to make a confession that many of my friends already know:  I am a territorial bitch.  But then again, so are most BioMoms that I know. 

Wanna see it in action?  Go to any school event and you can spot them:  BioMom is flitting around the room, whispering to her friends while they all try to inconspicuously steal a glance at Wife 2.0, or she’s hanging on her new BF or her own Husband 2.0, all directed at DH in a “look what you’re missing” kind of way.  Meanwhile,  StepMom is sitting uncomfortably in the corner, dodging the daggers and the looks while trying to enjoy the concert or soccer game or ballet recital.  As a group, we (BioMoms) are a bunch of territorial bitches.  With all the “drive-by” hate that we’re shooting out our eyes, we may as well have our own gang signs.  Been there.  Done that.  Guilty as charged.

As BioMoms, we look at our replacement and so much run through our heads:

“She’s prettier and skinner than me.”

“She’s uglier and fatter than me.”

“Her ass is so big.”

“Those boobs are obviously fake.”

“What could he possibly see in her?”

Some of you are still hurting because DH left and you still love him.  Some of you are glad to be rid of DH, but don’t think he’ll ever find anyone as good as you.  Some of you were left…for her.  Regardless of the circumstances, BioMoms carry an awful lot of baggage around. 

Here’s a proposal:  whaddya say we put that set of luggage of Craig’s List and get rid of it?  Let’s become BioMom Ambassadors of Goodwill instead of the mean, nasty, catty, hateful women that StepMoms expect us to be.  How wonderful would it be to NOT live up to the stereotype?  How detoxifying would it be to let go of the anger, hurt, jealousy that eats away at your self-esteem?  How nice would it be to stop being so territorial?  How healing would it be for your children to see everyone be cordial to each other?

I’m not saying you need to be BFFs with the other woman.  All I’m saying is that when she’s on what you believe to be your territory, put away your weapons and be nice.  Say hello.  Tell her that you’re glad that she came to whatever event you happen to be at.  A simple acknowledgement and a genuine smile can go a long way to ending long-standing feuds (which is good for the kids!).

And why, dear fellow BioMoms, am I asking you to be the one to make the first move?  It’s simple really:  in the back of your mind, she’s damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t (c’mon, you know it’s true).  If she doesn’t make the first move, you’ll think to yourself “She’s so stuck up, she can’t even say hello.”  If she does muster up the courage to say hi, you’ll think “Well, doesn’t she have some nerve trying to say hi to me? Hmph!”

I’ll even make you a deal.  I’ll go first.  I promise that right this very minute, I’ll stop talking smack about my ex-husband’s new girlfriend.  I found out some unsavory information about her a couple of days ago and I’ve found a way to work it into every conversation that I’ve had with my ex, just because I’m a bitch.  I’ll even go one further and I stop being a territorial bitch and I’ll invite my ex and his girlfriend to my son’s big event this weekend.  AND, I’ll be nice if she shows up. 

What are you willing to do?  Are you ready to become a BioMom Ambassador of Goodwill?

3 Responses to “Confessions of a BioMom Gone Bad: I am a territorial bitch.”

  1. Jamie December 16, 2010 at 8:54 am #

    I hope that when my Ex-husband starts to date, again, that I can find it in myself to be a BioMom Ambassador of Goodwill. I cant say I am completely guilty of all the acts you have listed above, only because he cant keep a decent woman around long enough for me to introduce myself to or form an opinion of her, but when he does, I hope to have my arsenal of snide remarks locked up.

  2. Eliza January 25, 2011 at 5:53 pm #

    Please let ‘us’ know how this works out!

  3. Lala December 16, 2012 at 11:03 am #

    ……….. Wish more biomoms would join you.

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