“I think you suck” from Anonymous

10 Feb


It’s easy to be a jerk when you think you’re anonymous.

A few days ago, I read an article written by Jeff Pearlman, a columnist for SI.com, who tracked down an online hater.  Cloaked in the wonderful world of online anonymity, a commenter posted some distasteful stuff (and that’s putting it nicely) and the journalist tracked him down and had a conversation with him.  Jeff Pearlman said, “Anyone who writes or is written about is now a potential target for abuse. Online civility — it if ever existed — has withered up and died. And it’s only getting worse.” 

This is true not only for sports columnists, kids who post videos on YouTube (the language is mind-blowing), bloggers, but oddly enough in the stepmother community as well.  Pearlman calls it “online civility”, but I think it’s classic online bullying and it’s rampant between BioMoms and StepMoms.  You’d think as moms we’d be aware of cyber-bullying and refuse to play, but we’ve got BioMoms signing up for fake facebook accounts and joining “stepmom only” pages in order to bash (or at the very least jab) the stepmother in their lives.  We’ve got commenters using fake names on stepmom blogs to harass the blogger.  It’s easy to be a jerk when you think no one knows who you are, but the truth is that most online bullies (especially the ones who just can’t stop themselves from commenting) have a hard time not giving themselves away (unless of course, they are very talented writers and use the computers at the public library instead of the one at home). 

I think it’s shameful when BioMoms and their “posses” feel the need to harass their ex-husbands and/or the StepMoms online or in person.  Get therapy, work through your issues, write your comments in a journal and remember what Thumper said, “If you can’t say nothin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.”  And if you just can’t help yourself, then “man up”, use your real name and take responsibility for your comments.  Same goes for StepMoms, although it seems that they are in the minority when it comes to this offense. 

Am I guilty?  If you’ve read my blog then you know that I’m guilty of airing dirty laundry on my old blog (which has since been taken down), but not of stalking, harassing and name-calling (online OR in person).   I keep my frustration to myself and throw the dirty laundry in the washer.  It’s alot better that way.

 Cyber-bullies aren’t just in middle and high school.  Some bullies are grown up.  Some bullies are women. If you’re an adult “mean girl”, it’s time to grow up.  You know who you are. 

Have you ever been harassed online?  How did you deal with it? 

A big thank you to socialsklz who posted the link to the CNN article on their facebook page.  Socialsklz “features interactive, age appropriate workshops where students learn modern day social and communication skills. Equip our kids, tweens and teens with the tools to succeed in life!”  I wish they’d franchise across the nation!

4 Responses to ““I think you suck” from Anonymous”

  1. Stepmom Central February 10, 2011 at 2:08 pm #

    You’ve heard me share before that both me, my husband, and his mother have all been cyberstalked and cyberbullied by his ex. The cyberbullying has pretty much stopped but the cyberstalking is something that is pretty constant.

    I have had my weight bashed online, my character, my husbands character. Dirty laundry aired and personal things that should never be used against someone be used.
    All at the time that our SDs’ had social networking sites and has access to view all of what their mom was saying about us. It was horrible.

    We deleted the SDs’ social networking and put everything on private on ours. We sent messages to everyone that was defaming our character falsely that if they continued we would look into a lawsuit and if the harassment did not stop we would get restraining orders. We reported the issues to facebook and myspace. We started sending CEASE AND DESIST letters. This scared the BM pretty good and most of the harassment has stopped for the most part.

    It will never fully go away, the BM loves the drama of it. She has about 4 different facebook pages and 5 different myspaces. Its a game. Sad but true.

  2. Kris February 10, 2011 at 3:59 pm #

    In my opinion, it is unacceptable for biomoms to treat stepmoms that way, and it is equally unacceptable for stepmoms to do the same thing to biomoms.

    If your hatred and bitterness is so deep that you stalk and disparage the other mom online, get help. If we are that bitter and unhappy, it seems it’s almost inevitable that our attitudes will come out in some form (even if diluted) around the kids.

    I’m sorry if I come across as hardcore or unsympathetic to anyone, but I think we all need to put on our big girl pants and do the right thing for our kids and for our partner’s kids.

  3. Adrienne May February 16, 2011 at 8:52 am #

    i have not yet had the pleasure of being harassed online… but it is good to think about in advance as well

    • BioStep February 16, 2011 at 9:19 am #

      Oh and a “pleasure” it is. When it first happened to me, I was reallly annoyed. Then someone close to me was told, “I have people watching what she writes online.” It’s then that I started to laugh. Me? Really? I thought it was absolutely laughable that someone would actually take the time out of ther day to track what I do online, let alone recruit others to help them. It’s amazing the power that some people give you…

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